Wow. What a weekend. I was very fortunate to have some help this long weekend on studio renovations from my good friends Kara and Amanda. We worked for about 4 hours on what seemed like almost nothing. I finished putting in the main portion of the flooring tiles. Amanda cleaned the copious amounts of tape and stickers off my new filing cabinet. And Kara painstakingly cut tile pieces for all the funky corners in my office.
We started at 10am and finished at 2pm. Four whole hours of wading through shallow water. It felt like I was getting nothing accomplished. Amanda was shocked at the sheer amount of tape and it's bitter unwillingness to part from the cabinet. Even with the assistance of goo-gone!
I was pulling nails and screws out of the wall that were so plentiful, the walls looked like swiss cheese. Putty putty putty. At one point in the day, I had the worst screw of my life and ended up having to jack hammer it into submission.
Upon finishing the laying of the tiles, the tape removal and some bad screwing, we all ventured towards peeling off the sticky vinyl lettering from windows and doorways. The goo didn't seem to help, so it was razors, scrapers and fingernails to the rescue. Some pieces came off easily, others required Kara's switchblade.
I very poorly started to spray paint the elusive filing cabinet. I thought black was going to be badass until I found copper metallic spray paint! WOW! Gotta have it fo' sho'! Four cans of spray paint later.......it still looks like a fifth grade craft project. Thankfully Kara's mad skills at using a can of spray paint acquired from her misguided youth saved the day.
With my belly angrily screaming at me to feed it, I herded the girls out of the studio and towards some delicious Vietnamese eatery nearby. We laughed, we cried. We compared battle scars. It was a good day.
I went back to the studio today and grouted the tile that is in my office. While labour intensive (on hands and knees spreading out even layers. Funnily, all I could think about was how I was engaging my core....) it was REALLY easy! Gals! If you haven't grouted something, you gotta try it! It's repetitive, low maintenance and requires a good scrubbing after it's dry to remove the crusties. Kind of like a man.
It took me about 2 hours to grout the whole floor including clean up. Once I was done, I looked down and saw that it was good! Off to the studio I went for another bout of classes (an interview with a salsa instructor. Muy caliente! Did she ever get me sweating). I planned to go back and put on the base boarding, but I needed some more paint around the edges.
So now I've got a big caulk and I'm going to lay that baseboard tomorrow like it's never been lain before!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Rosie the Riveter, you sure are riveting!
This article is for all the badass gals out there that are taking over the world one zaghareet at a time and for my Tribe.
I've been working diligently over the last month on renovating and building my new studio: the most awesomest place for dance and fitness ever. But aside from that, I've always been a Do-It-Yourself kind of gal. From making my own Barbie clothes as a kid to planning the wedding of my failed marriage, I've always believed there wasn't anything I couldn't learn how to do and excel at. This is mostly in credit to my mother, who despite passing down a magazine rack of issues, always told me from the time I was a small child that if I set my mind to it, I could do anything.
This may seem trite, but I actually believe this is true for anyone. Things are only impossible or unbelievable until we take the first step into making them possible or a part of our belief system. We all use different tools to get us there. For some it takes longer and for others, they charge full steam ahead. Some find words inspiring, actions, images and so forth.
So here I am going about my merry little day, wondering what large obstacle I can tackle next, building my pipes lifting boxes of tile when I see the image of Rosie the Riveter. For those of you that don't know, Rosie the Riveter is a fictional character from WWII used in marketing campaigns to encourage women to work in munitions factories while men were at war. She is a unique symbol from the 1940s with her bulging biceps and furtive stare. This in a time where women were depicted as slender waisted and demure. Rosie the Riveter struck a chord with women who had long been depicted as meek. She still maintains a touch of feminity with the head scarf she wears that holds back her hair while she works.
This famous image is incredibly inspiring to women and truly is a picture that says a 1000 words with a 1000 meanings to thousands of women. What does Rosie the Riveter mean to me? I've gone through several phases in my life; from overly dramatic child, to moody plane jane teen, to prissy frilly belly dancer, I've always felt the importance of being strong and embracing my womanhood. Just like Rosie.
Now that I am a business owner, I've had to really embrace the motto "We can do it!" or "I can do it!". When I first started my business I had no budget for marketing, web, etc. I spent the first 2-3 months of my business and some 6-8 hours a day specifically on learning the tools in photoshop, developing a website and learning how to sculpt my brand. I had been unemployed for many months prior to opening my studio, so it was more "You have to do it!" in the beginning. They say necessity is the mother of invention and when your means are limited your creativity catapults forward.
I would have never guessed that I would develop multi-class curriculums, teach 9-12 classes a week, develop marketing and strategic plans, learn how to create ads and web content and finally learn how to do renovations. Prior to seeing Rosie's picture yesterday, I ran into Rona (my fave place) to pick up some supplies. I have always found the staff there to be incredibly helpful and knowledgable. There was an older gentleman working in the flooring department. I asked him some questions about flooring and he stopped me and said "Don't you ever let anyone tell you that there is anything you can't do." I was really taken aback by this, but intrigued, so he continued. "Just because you are a woman, doesn't mean you can't do construction. You can do anything a man can do, if not better."
I asked him if he had daughters, which I had a feeling he did, and he said yes. I was very touched by this little exchange and had a nice chat with him about some more projects I was undertaking. I felt that if I could make crafts or bake or put together furniture, I could do anything. I just had to change my mindset that it was hard and impossible to that it is doable and manageable.
We really live in a negative and "Don't" based culture. Don't misbehave. Don't have a voice. Don't go against the grain. Despite many corporate messages of "Just do", they really mean "Just do, but within the parameters we set out for you." I would like to encourage all of you who have managed to get through this article to DO and BELIEVE and BREAK FREE of the prescriptions of "can't" and "only able". That is the message of Rosie the Riveter to women: go and achieve with strength and courage because if there is anything that can be done - WE CAN DO IT!
I've been working diligently over the last month on renovating and building my new studio: the most awesomest place for dance and fitness ever. But aside from that, I've always been a Do-It-Yourself kind of gal. From making my own Barbie clothes as a kid to planning the wedding of my failed marriage, I've always believed there wasn't anything I couldn't learn how to do and excel at. This is mostly in credit to my mother, who despite passing down a magazine rack of issues, always told me from the time I was a small child that if I set my mind to it, I could do anything.
This may seem trite, but I actually believe this is true for anyone. Things are only impossible or unbelievable until we take the first step into making them possible or a part of our belief system. We all use different tools to get us there. For some it takes longer and for others, they charge full steam ahead. Some find words inspiring, actions, images and so forth.
So here I am going about my merry little day, wondering what large obstacle I can tackle next, building my pipes lifting boxes of tile when I see the image of Rosie the Riveter. For those of you that don't know, Rosie the Riveter is a fictional character from WWII used in marketing campaigns to encourage women to work in munitions factories while men were at war. She is a unique symbol from the 1940s with her bulging biceps and furtive stare. This in a time where women were depicted as slender waisted and demure. Rosie the Riveter struck a chord with women who had long been depicted as meek. She still maintains a touch of feminity with the head scarf she wears that holds back her hair while she works.
This famous image is incredibly inspiring to women and truly is a picture that says a 1000 words with a 1000 meanings to thousands of women. What does Rosie the Riveter mean to me? I've gone through several phases in my life; from overly dramatic child, to moody plane jane teen, to prissy frilly belly dancer, I've always felt the importance of being strong and embracing my womanhood. Just like Rosie.
Now that I am a business owner, I've had to really embrace the motto "We can do it!" or "I can do it!". When I first started my business I had no budget for marketing, web, etc. I spent the first 2-3 months of my business and some 6-8 hours a day specifically on learning the tools in photoshop, developing a website and learning how to sculpt my brand. I had been unemployed for many months prior to opening my studio, so it was more "You have to do it!" in the beginning. They say necessity is the mother of invention and when your means are limited your creativity catapults forward.
I would have never guessed that I would develop multi-class curriculums, teach 9-12 classes a week, develop marketing and strategic plans, learn how to create ads and web content and finally learn how to do renovations. Prior to seeing Rosie's picture yesterday, I ran into Rona (my fave place) to pick up some supplies. I have always found the staff there to be incredibly helpful and knowledgable. There was an older gentleman working in the flooring department. I asked him some questions about flooring and he stopped me and said "Don't you ever let anyone tell you that there is anything you can't do." I was really taken aback by this, but intrigued, so he continued. "Just because you are a woman, doesn't mean you can't do construction. You can do anything a man can do, if not better."
I asked him if he had daughters, which I had a feeling he did, and he said yes. I was very touched by this little exchange and had a nice chat with him about some more projects I was undertaking. I felt that if I could make crafts or bake or put together furniture, I could do anything. I just had to change my mindset that it was hard and impossible to that it is doable and manageable.
We really live in a negative and "Don't" based culture. Don't misbehave. Don't have a voice. Don't go against the grain. Despite many corporate messages of "Just do", they really mean "Just do, but within the parameters we set out for you." I would like to encourage all of you who have managed to get through this article to DO and BELIEVE and BREAK FREE of the prescriptions of "can't" and "only able". That is the message of Rosie the Riveter to women: go and achieve with strength and courage because if there is anything that can be done - WE CAN DO IT!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sprynge Fayre - a teacher and studio owners perspective
Last night I put on the 3rd Show I've hosted since Rebel Hips opened one year ago. From a logistical stand point, everything seemed to be going wrong. The beautiful fabric that I had to cover the walls kept falling down (I believe this is due to using a new type of double side tape than what I usually do), the music kept cutting in and out, we ran out of water, etc and so on. While in an ideal world, those things wouldn't have happened, they didn't seem to dampen the mood or the spirit of the night. Like a bride that smiles through rain on her wedding day, everyone danced and fell into the spirit of the evening.
A lot of people don't realize the blood, sweat and tears that goes into putting on a show or building a choreography and teaching it. Usually, the week before the show (and even the day of) I feel very grouchy and curmudgeonly as I compile lists of music, programs, finalize ticket sales, etc. I had spent the last week running from place to place to make sure that things were together and organized. And then the day of the show hit and I felt absolutely overcome with calm, joy and excitement.
One of the best moments as a teacher is watching your students grow, learn and take bigger and braver steps. I imagine it is very similar to motherhood. You teach lessons, you provide guidance and you hope that they will take those first steps on their own. And when they do, it's like a double rainbow of awesome opens up in your heart.
As people and performers began to show up, I started to feel really nervous, which is uncharacteristic of me. It is the most surreal feeling to go from being a student attending shows, to a student dancing in shows, to a semi pro, to a pro and then to a studio owner putting on shows. I had my make-up on and was ready to rock and thought "When is this show going to start?" and laughed when I realized that was MY job to take care of!
I came out into the hall area and was blown away by what I saw: Manda, Reginia and Michelle were helping my father-in-law, Les Posein, put up one of the wall hangings that fell down. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that some of my guest performers would stop and take the time to help me with something without being asked and without it being expected. I've been at shows throughout my dance life where even the students wouldn't lift a finger to help out and teachers or owners were stuck doing things themselves. So to have guests pitch in really inspired me and made me realize what incredible women I had before me.
When the show was about to start, I felt light of spirit and ready. I felt like t he thing I was meant to do was before me and I was humbled by it. In the first number with my student troup and I, the music was really quiet, but the girls soldiered on and the audience watched with intensity.
And then my beginner students went up to perform. I stood at the back of the hall and watched these very brave and courageous women step out onto stage with all of the pride and fervour that I had beat into them over the last 8 weeks! One of the other ladies commented on how impressed she was that my students smile and look like they are having fun. I replied that I have taught them that if they don't smile I will beat them. It's really a fear smile. Haha.
As I stood and watched them danced, I became overcome with this enormous sense of love in my heart that seemed to fill up my entire body. I teared up a little but managed to shelf them away so I didn't ruin my drag-queen make up job. I knew how much this performance meant to these ladies, some of which are going through huge transitional periods in their lives. This was a breaking out moment. To stand in front of a crowd in a sparkling bra, showing your belly in a world that bullies people into believing they aren't good enough is a huge act of courage.
As the show went on, each number that went up really made me feel prideful that I was where I was at. That I had the ability to bring together such lovely women was such an amazing feeling. Diane Szoke's solo was incredibly touching, powerful and sexy. Diane has come a long way from the hafla that she danced at in my studio last year. While she has not been a student of mine, she is definitely a kindred spirit and I loved the energy and heart that she put into her performance.
I was really impressed with Ave's performance to "I Put a Spell on you" by Natascha Atlas. She worked on the choreography with her mother and what a fitting mother's day gift to perform it in public. Especially as a very new dancer.
Carla Young's sword solo was INCREDIBLE. It was such a pleasure to see her dance as a soloist, as I've only ever seen her dance in a group. She is a fantastic dancer. Moon Unit was lovely as always, their warm personalities radiated through their dancing. They really are as nice as they seem! And HUGE props go to Terry Tudor for having the courage to perform Tribal Improv for the FIRST time by herself after all of her classmates were not in attendance. She did an incredible job for someone who was thrust in the fire!
As I prepared to dance, having watch everything I had just witnessed, I felt prepared. I felt ready. I couldn't wait to share my joy and my love for dancing with the audience. I was a little nervous as it was the first time I had ever danced with silk fans. But I loved the song I had chosen and it just felt right. One of my favourite moments during my performance was looking over and seeing Denise from Bedouin Beats sitting in the front row smiling. She has been a very dear friend of mine and means a lot to me. She was very kind and welcoming of me when I moved to Edmonton when a lot of other people were not.
After I was done performing, I could sense the crowd was a bit restless, but I wanted to hand out the door prizes. This is a tradition I had from dancing in Calgary and I can't seem to put on a show without them! As the wall hangings were falling to the ground, all I could see were the smiling and engaged faces looking back at me from the audience.
And then the second half began. The choreography that I put together for Al Muttanab came from some place in me that I didn't know existed. It felt very powerful and surreal, like I hadn't made it. It was the piece I was looking forward to seeing performed the most. It was also the most challenging choreography I have given my students. While it doesn't look difficult, the foot work and transitions are incredibly challenging, as well as making the silk veil look like it is breathing and dancing. I was brought to tears by my students. They made mistakes sure, but this piece was so difficult, they were pushing over a personal fear and achieved. I was beyond proud. At this point, I was brought to tears.
Erin's drum solo was cute and I was thrilled that she took it on. Eclipse. *le sigh* Eclipse. Always beautifully dressed (which is a huge pet peeve of mine, when groups of dancers do not put effort into their costuming. These ladies always look spectacular.) these ladies shone as usual. They really are incredibly talented at what they do. It's really neat to see how they have grown as dancers over the last 2.5 years I've been in Edmonton. And Kara! OMG! Kara! Her solo had so much fire and passion in it. I was very proud that she is one of my students. Manda, Michelle and Reginia were phenomenal. These are the tribal dancers that other tribal dancers should aspire to be like. They had energy in their faces and arms, they very beautiful technically and they knew what they were doing. These ladies know how to perform and bring honour to Tribal style dancing.
Svetlana's solo was absolutely fantastic. She has not been dancing for long (I believe under a year) and she choreographed an incredible solo. She looked like a queen on stage and looked very natural and comfortable. It was fantastic.
Andrea Wilson was absolutely resplendant. I love her style and the way she engages with music and audience alike. I feel like she has found her own very powerful voice and she is using it to exclaim loudly. While she is so talented, she is also a wonderful person and I am very happy to have her teaching at my studio.
My meleya leff. Haha. I have always dreamed of doing meleya leff. I am a big ol' ham at heart and don't take myself very seriously. To get up there in ruffles and paillettes and twirl a large piece of polyester was a thrill of a lifetime for me. I loved it and the audience reaction felt awesome. One of my favourite moments from the show were the sound of the crowd when I pulled up Greg's father Les Posein, the sound guy, to dance. He instantly abandonned inhibitions and gave a hot performance with the meleya! But I love how the audience cheered him on!
And once the show was over, I couldn't contain my emotions anymore. I felt a bit cheesey, but I felt so overwhelmed. This last session had been really difficult for me emotionally. It was when I transitioned from being a teacher who loved to teach and is passionate about what she does, to realizing that teaching and owning a studio is a job. And like any job it has it's shitty days, it's days when you just want to stay in bed or scream at someone but can't or throw your hands up and say "I'm done.". That was a really difficult place to come to when I was living in the moment of enacting my dream. I felt embarassed b/c I thought "I'm living my dream! I should be happy all the time!" But last night was a reconning for me. All of the blood, sweat and tears was shown back to me like a mirror image and I was overcome with joy and pride.
It was also the moment where I realized what I meant to my students and what they meant to me. I would never presume that I changed someone's life or impacted someone beyond merely giving them a break from their families. But my students showed me that I did and I feel so incredibly humbled by that gift, I feel like I could weep for days at the receipt of it. And all I can say is thank you to these women who have allowed me into their lives and have listened to what I have to say.
I have often thought that I should move my shows to a stage, but I dislike the disconnection that happens when you separate people with a barrier like a large and imposing stage. I don't want my shows to lose the magic of people moving freely around and interacting with the audience by being able to look directly into their eyes and show their fear and elation at being there.
I have also been incredibly graced with having wonderful audiences filled with people who want to be there and support each other. It seems like the naysayers and "haters" stay away. Maybe they are repelled by the incredible positive energy of the audience and peformers. Or maybe they lack the courage to admit that someone is doing a good job. Whatever it might be, the people who attend honour the performers and the space and the hard work. They are always generous with cheering and clapping which is greatly appreciated.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, to the soles of my feet to the tips of my fingers. Thank you.
A lot of people don't realize the blood, sweat and tears that goes into putting on a show or building a choreography and teaching it. Usually, the week before the show (and even the day of) I feel very grouchy and curmudgeonly as I compile lists of music, programs, finalize ticket sales, etc. I had spent the last week running from place to place to make sure that things were together and organized. And then the day of the show hit and I felt absolutely overcome with calm, joy and excitement.
One of the best moments as a teacher is watching your students grow, learn and take bigger and braver steps. I imagine it is very similar to motherhood. You teach lessons, you provide guidance and you hope that they will take those first steps on their own. And when they do, it's like a double rainbow of awesome opens up in your heart.
As people and performers began to show up, I started to feel really nervous, which is uncharacteristic of me. It is the most surreal feeling to go from being a student attending shows, to a student dancing in shows, to a semi pro, to a pro and then to a studio owner putting on shows. I had my make-up on and was ready to rock and thought "When is this show going to start?" and laughed when I realized that was MY job to take care of!
I came out into the hall area and was blown away by what I saw: Manda, Reginia and Michelle were helping my father-in-law, Les Posein, put up one of the wall hangings that fell down. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that some of my guest performers would stop and take the time to help me with something without being asked and without it being expected. I've been at shows throughout my dance life where even the students wouldn't lift a finger to help out and teachers or owners were stuck doing things themselves. So to have guests pitch in really inspired me and made me realize what incredible women I had before me.
When the show was about to start, I felt light of spirit and ready. I felt like t he thing I was meant to do was before me and I was humbled by it. In the first number with my student troup and I, the music was really quiet, but the girls soldiered on and the audience watched with intensity.
And then my beginner students went up to perform. I stood at the back of the hall and watched these very brave and courageous women step out onto stage with all of the pride and fervour that I had beat into them over the last 8 weeks! One of the other ladies commented on how impressed she was that my students smile and look like they are having fun. I replied that I have taught them that if they don't smile I will beat them. It's really a fear smile. Haha.
As I stood and watched them danced, I became overcome with this enormous sense of love in my heart that seemed to fill up my entire body. I teared up a little but managed to shelf them away so I didn't ruin my drag-queen make up job. I knew how much this performance meant to these ladies, some of which are going through huge transitional periods in their lives. This was a breaking out moment. To stand in front of a crowd in a sparkling bra, showing your belly in a world that bullies people into believing they aren't good enough is a huge act of courage.
As the show went on, each number that went up really made me feel prideful that I was where I was at. That I had the ability to bring together such lovely women was such an amazing feeling. Diane Szoke's solo was incredibly touching, powerful and sexy. Diane has come a long way from the hafla that she danced at in my studio last year. While she has not been a student of mine, she is definitely a kindred spirit and I loved the energy and heart that she put into her performance.
I was really impressed with Ave's performance to "I Put a Spell on you" by Natascha Atlas. She worked on the choreography with her mother and what a fitting mother's day gift to perform it in public. Especially as a very new dancer.
Carla Young's sword solo was INCREDIBLE. It was such a pleasure to see her dance as a soloist, as I've only ever seen her dance in a group. She is a fantastic dancer. Moon Unit was lovely as always, their warm personalities radiated through their dancing. They really are as nice as they seem! And HUGE props go to Terry Tudor for having the courage to perform Tribal Improv for the FIRST time by herself after all of her classmates were not in attendance. She did an incredible job for someone who was thrust in the fire!
As I prepared to dance, having watch everything I had just witnessed, I felt prepared. I felt ready. I couldn't wait to share my joy and my love for dancing with the audience. I was a little nervous as it was the first time I had ever danced with silk fans. But I loved the song I had chosen and it just felt right. One of my favourite moments during my performance was looking over and seeing Denise from Bedouin Beats sitting in the front row smiling. She has been a very dear friend of mine and means a lot to me. She was very kind and welcoming of me when I moved to Edmonton when a lot of other people were not.
After I was done performing, I could sense the crowd was a bit restless, but I wanted to hand out the door prizes. This is a tradition I had from dancing in Calgary and I can't seem to put on a show without them! As the wall hangings were falling to the ground, all I could see were the smiling and engaged faces looking back at me from the audience.
And then the second half began. The choreography that I put together for Al Muttanab came from some place in me that I didn't know existed. It felt very powerful and surreal, like I hadn't made it. It was the piece I was looking forward to seeing performed the most. It was also the most challenging choreography I have given my students. While it doesn't look difficult, the foot work and transitions are incredibly challenging, as well as making the silk veil look like it is breathing and dancing. I was brought to tears by my students. They made mistakes sure, but this piece was so difficult, they were pushing over a personal fear and achieved. I was beyond proud. At this point, I was brought to tears.
Erin's drum solo was cute and I was thrilled that she took it on. Eclipse. *le sigh* Eclipse. Always beautifully dressed (which is a huge pet peeve of mine, when groups of dancers do not put effort into their costuming. These ladies always look spectacular.) these ladies shone as usual. They really are incredibly talented at what they do. It's really neat to see how they have grown as dancers over the last 2.5 years I've been in Edmonton. And Kara! OMG! Kara! Her solo had so much fire and passion in it. I was very proud that she is one of my students. Manda, Michelle and Reginia were phenomenal. These are the tribal dancers that other tribal dancers should aspire to be like. They had energy in their faces and arms, they very beautiful technically and they knew what they were doing. These ladies know how to perform and bring honour to Tribal style dancing.
Svetlana's solo was absolutely fantastic. She has not been dancing for long (I believe under a year) and she choreographed an incredible solo. She looked like a queen on stage and looked very natural and comfortable. It was fantastic.
Andrea Wilson was absolutely resplendant. I love her style and the way she engages with music and audience alike. I feel like she has found her own very powerful voice and she is using it to exclaim loudly. While she is so talented, she is also a wonderful person and I am very happy to have her teaching at my studio.
My meleya leff. Haha. I have always dreamed of doing meleya leff. I am a big ol' ham at heart and don't take myself very seriously. To get up there in ruffles and paillettes and twirl a large piece of polyester was a thrill of a lifetime for me. I loved it and the audience reaction felt awesome. One of my favourite moments from the show were the sound of the crowd when I pulled up Greg's father Les Posein, the sound guy, to dance. He instantly abandonned inhibitions and gave a hot performance with the meleya! But I love how the audience cheered him on!
And once the show was over, I couldn't contain my emotions anymore. I felt a bit cheesey, but I felt so overwhelmed. This last session had been really difficult for me emotionally. It was when I transitioned from being a teacher who loved to teach and is passionate about what she does, to realizing that teaching and owning a studio is a job. And like any job it has it's shitty days, it's days when you just want to stay in bed or scream at someone but can't or throw your hands up and say "I'm done.". That was a really difficult place to come to when I was living in the moment of enacting my dream. I felt embarassed b/c I thought "I'm living my dream! I should be happy all the time!" But last night was a reconning for me. All of the blood, sweat and tears was shown back to me like a mirror image and I was overcome with joy and pride.
It was also the moment where I realized what I meant to my students and what they meant to me. I would never presume that I changed someone's life or impacted someone beyond merely giving them a break from their families. But my students showed me that I did and I feel so incredibly humbled by that gift, I feel like I could weep for days at the receipt of it. And all I can say is thank you to these women who have allowed me into their lives and have listened to what I have to say.
I have often thought that I should move my shows to a stage, but I dislike the disconnection that happens when you separate people with a barrier like a large and imposing stage. I don't want my shows to lose the magic of people moving freely around and interacting with the audience by being able to look directly into their eyes and show their fear and elation at being there.
I have also been incredibly graced with having wonderful audiences filled with people who want to be there and support each other. It seems like the naysayers and "haters" stay away. Maybe they are repelled by the incredible positive energy of the audience and peformers. Or maybe they lack the courage to admit that someone is doing a good job. Whatever it might be, the people who attend honour the performers and the space and the hard work. They are always generous with cheering and clapping which is greatly appreciated.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, to the soles of my feet to the tips of my fingers. Thank you.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Perspective on the self
I believe in being true and in opening myself up to that truth, constantly striving for a true message or belief in myself. It means admitting joy, anger, weakness, accomplishment, success, happiness and so forth; the full spectrum of human emotion. However, sometimes our perceptions and lenses make us incapable of seeing ourselves truthfully.
I have had quite a bit on my mind recently about my own body image and my perception of myself. I had some struggles with nourishment last year that threw my body out of whack and ended up with me not feeling or looking like what I perceived as "myself".
In the last couple of weeks, I've had some pretty interesting things come up that have challenged my own perspectives and beliefs about myself and how I perceive myself, which has then in turn got me thinking about how women see themselves as a whole. It isn't a new idea that women are hard on themselves or that they self flagelate. In fact, we are bombarded with messages of how much women hate themselves and each other, as we are with images of what we should look like.
So for a while I was really feeling down about what was peering back at me when I looked in the mirror. I felt "unhealthy" and embarassed. Then a light bulb moment came.
I was talking with one of my students. A very beautiful and very talented student that I feel incredibly honoured by when she signs up again for another session of dance. Anyways, we were chatting casually while she was trying on some costumes and what she said completely shook my world. She said to me "Are you sure I look good in this costume? I feel really mannish, especially when I look at how curvy and beautiful you are."
I was shocked. I was totally and completely shocked. I assured her that she looked quite lovely (and I mean really wow). After she left the studio I sat down and I thought very intently about what she had said to me and the implications of it. Here was someone who I looked at and thought was incredibly beautiful, graceful and hard working, who thought they looked mannish. And then, to top it off, that the thing I was struggling with the most at the time was an aspiration? This really got me thinking.
I then had another conversation with a different woman. She is a teacher of a variety of dance. I really wanted to learn this new style (new to me anyways) and so I took the class. I felt very self conscious because there were other students in that class that knew me in a teaching capacity. I felt like people expected me to be perfect. That I wasn't allowed to be goofy and awkward as I approached this new style. I felt very compelled to make sure I was doing everything right because I was a teacher of another style. And then this teacher admitted to me that she felt self conscious about me being in the class because I moved beautifully and she felt awkward!
And I thought: Well ain't that some shit?
If the message from the universe wasn't ringing clear enough, it whalloped me once more when a student who I think is very beautiful and has a very sensual body shape AND is doing amazingly well in class emailed me to apologise for not being good enough.Yet again. SHOCK. Total and complete shock.
So here we are. I'm self conscious. She's self conscious. I'm sure if you're reading this, you're self conscious too. Hell, the lady sitting next to you while you read this is also self conscious. So where does that leave us?
I am not writing this for validation or to get people to respond with hokey self-love messages that they don't mean or embody in their own lives. I am writing this because I see all of these experiences as demonstrative of a larger problem in our culture: the lack of self acceptance and the rifts they create in relationships with ourselves and others.
All of these very small moments, which only took seconds out of my life have felt like someone ringing a very large and loud bell in my ears, the tones of which reverberate through my body. I have at times felt like a hypocrit preaching self acceptance to my students, when I stood in front of them at moments not accepting who I was. It all comes down to one very simple idea: If all of the people around you deserve to be accepted for who they are, why don't you?
These women who shared with me how they felt are all very kind hearted people. I've never heard any of them say something bad about another person. I've never felt any sort of judgement or unkindness from them, but like most of us and just like me, they hand out acceptance of others before themselves.
What a terrible disservice we are doing to ourselves. No wonder some of us are addicted to food or shopping or gambling or alcohol or...or...or...or...or. No wonder people overwork themselves, constantly striving to be better. No wonder women enroll their children into 500 activities, plus maintain a perfectly clean house, cook and work. We don't think we are good enough as we are.
These last few weeks have been hugely impactful for me and I can't seem to keep it to myself. I feel like the universe has taken a big shiney hammer and rap tap tapped me quite squarely on the head. We all deserve to be accepted for who we are, especially by ourselves.
I have had quite a bit on my mind recently about my own body image and my perception of myself. I had some struggles with nourishment last year that threw my body out of whack and ended up with me not feeling or looking like what I perceived as "myself".
In the last couple of weeks, I've had some pretty interesting things come up that have challenged my own perspectives and beliefs about myself and how I perceive myself, which has then in turn got me thinking about how women see themselves as a whole. It isn't a new idea that women are hard on themselves or that they self flagelate. In fact, we are bombarded with messages of how much women hate themselves and each other, as we are with images of what we should look like.
So for a while I was really feeling down about what was peering back at me when I looked in the mirror. I felt "unhealthy" and embarassed. Then a light bulb moment came.
I was talking with one of my students. A very beautiful and very talented student that I feel incredibly honoured by when she signs up again for another session of dance. Anyways, we were chatting casually while she was trying on some costumes and what she said completely shook my world. She said to me "Are you sure I look good in this costume? I feel really mannish, especially when I look at how curvy and beautiful you are."
I was shocked. I was totally and completely shocked. I assured her that she looked quite lovely (and I mean really wow). After she left the studio I sat down and I thought very intently about what she had said to me and the implications of it. Here was someone who I looked at and thought was incredibly beautiful, graceful and hard working, who thought they looked mannish. And then, to top it off, that the thing I was struggling with the most at the time was an aspiration? This really got me thinking.
I then had another conversation with a different woman. She is a teacher of a variety of dance. I really wanted to learn this new style (new to me anyways) and so I took the class. I felt very self conscious because there were other students in that class that knew me in a teaching capacity. I felt like people expected me to be perfect. That I wasn't allowed to be goofy and awkward as I approached this new style. I felt very compelled to make sure I was doing everything right because I was a teacher of another style. And then this teacher admitted to me that she felt self conscious about me being in the class because I moved beautifully and she felt awkward!
And I thought: Well ain't that some shit?
If the message from the universe wasn't ringing clear enough, it whalloped me once more when a student who I think is very beautiful and has a very sensual body shape AND is doing amazingly well in class emailed me to apologise for not being good enough.Yet again. SHOCK. Total and complete shock.
So here we are. I'm self conscious. She's self conscious. I'm sure if you're reading this, you're self conscious too. Hell, the lady sitting next to you while you read this is also self conscious. So where does that leave us?
I am not writing this for validation or to get people to respond with hokey self-love messages that they don't mean or embody in their own lives. I am writing this because I see all of these experiences as demonstrative of a larger problem in our culture: the lack of self acceptance and the rifts they create in relationships with ourselves and others.
All of these very small moments, which only took seconds out of my life have felt like someone ringing a very large and loud bell in my ears, the tones of which reverberate through my body. I have at times felt like a hypocrit preaching self acceptance to my students, when I stood in front of them at moments not accepting who I was. It all comes down to one very simple idea: If all of the people around you deserve to be accepted for who they are, why don't you?
These women who shared with me how they felt are all very kind hearted people. I've never heard any of them say something bad about another person. I've never felt any sort of judgement or unkindness from them, but like most of us and just like me, they hand out acceptance of others before themselves.
What a terrible disservice we are doing to ourselves. No wonder some of us are addicted to food or shopping or gambling or alcohol or...or...or...or...or. No wonder people overwork themselves, constantly striving to be better. No wonder women enroll their children into 500 activities, plus maintain a perfectly clean house, cook and work. We don't think we are good enough as we are.
These last few weeks have been hugely impactful for me and I can't seem to keep it to myself. I feel like the universe has taken a big shiney hammer and rap tap tapped me quite squarely on the head. We all deserve to be accepted for who we are, especially by ourselves.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Pirating Music
I was recently online looking through dance related articles when I came upon this article by Horatio Cifuentes: http://www.gildedserpent.com/cms/2011/02/02/horacio-khaled-pirating-music/
And it reminded me of an issue that tweaks my cymbals just a touch: pirating dance music. When I lived in Calgary, I went into Son of the Pharaoh one day to buy some new CDs so I could begin to build my own music collection. I understood that buying music was a part of investing in becoming a dancer. When I went to pay for my discs I received a stern talking to from Emad telling me that I better not make copies of the CDs for all my friends. I assured him I wouldn't but was puzzled by his comments about teachers giving out copies to their students.
I didn't understand what he was talking about. But sure enough, within the next couple of years I met a multude of dancers who purchased CDs and then made free copies for their friends. I am not talking about one song for a choreography class. I am talking about a full disc of music to pass along and share.
I understand that file sharing is the wave of the future. But to put things into perspective, a lot of the musicians on the discs that we enjoy so much live in small apartments and struggle to keep food in their stomachs and a roof over their heads. Imagine if you were struggling to make a living and you found out that someone was giving away your hard work for free?
With the advent of iTunes, you can sometimes purchase Belly dance music at a reasonable price ($9.99-$14.99). Otherwise, most dance CDs will cost you $18-$25 (sometimes even $30). I recognize that with the advent of the internet and file sharing we are not accustomed to spending this amount of money on music. However, independantly produced albums do not belong to multi-million dollar record labels that rake in millions of dollars in profits a year. As Horatio outlines in his article, they are produced through blood, sweat, and tears by independant artists who are struggling to support their art.
It is sometimes difficult to find good music without knowledge of various artists names. Some recommendations that I have that are available on iTunes: Hakim, Nagwa Karam, Tarkan, Tanyeli, Amr Diab, Niyaz, 10 Songs Every Belly Dancer Should Know, Shik Shak Shok, Layali Al Sharq.
And it reminded me of an issue that tweaks my cymbals just a touch: pirating dance music. When I lived in Calgary, I went into Son of the Pharaoh one day to buy some new CDs so I could begin to build my own music collection. I understood that buying music was a part of investing in becoming a dancer. When I went to pay for my discs I received a stern talking to from Emad telling me that I better not make copies of the CDs for all my friends. I assured him I wouldn't but was puzzled by his comments about teachers giving out copies to their students.
I didn't understand what he was talking about. But sure enough, within the next couple of years I met a multude of dancers who purchased CDs and then made free copies for their friends. I am not talking about one song for a choreography class. I am talking about a full disc of music to pass along and share.
I understand that file sharing is the wave of the future. But to put things into perspective, a lot of the musicians on the discs that we enjoy so much live in small apartments and struggle to keep food in their stomachs and a roof over their heads. Imagine if you were struggling to make a living and you found out that someone was giving away your hard work for free?
With the advent of iTunes, you can sometimes purchase Belly dance music at a reasonable price ($9.99-$14.99). Otherwise, most dance CDs will cost you $18-$25 (sometimes even $30). I recognize that with the advent of the internet and file sharing we are not accustomed to spending this amount of money on music. However, independantly produced albums do not belong to multi-million dollar record labels that rake in millions of dollars in profits a year. As Horatio outlines in his article, they are produced through blood, sweat, and tears by independant artists who are struggling to support their art.
It is sometimes difficult to find good music without knowledge of various artists names. Some recommendations that I have that are available on iTunes: Hakim, Nagwa Karam, Tarkan, Tanyeli, Amr Diab, Niyaz, 10 Songs Every Belly Dancer Should Know, Shik Shak Shok, Layali Al Sharq.
Costume Chronicles - Episode 5 - Chicken Cutlets
As dancers, we all try to look our best when we perform. That sometimes means adding hair extensions, false eyelashes, padding to our bras, etc. However, when something goes wrong with these delicate additions, things can get very embarassing, very quickly.
I was dancing in a restaurant in one of my most favourite costumes. As a smaller busted gal, I like to add padding to my bras. I recently purchased some clear silicone inserts (which I affectionately call chicken cutlets) to boost my bossom.
I was gleefully dancing away. I came to one table where a man and woman sat. The male customer was politely watching me perform. The female customer kept trying to talk to him. He looked at her and said "Shut up, I am watching the dancer." She was suitably embarassed.
I kept dancing around the restaurant and later came back to the table. The woman motioned me towards her. I was a bit worried about what she was going to say to me considering the fact that her "date" had told her to shut up only moments previously. She said "There's something coming out from under your bra." I gasped and replied "Underboob?" and she said "No, it's something else. I'm not sure what."
So I reached a hand up, not sure what to expect, to find my lovely little chicken cutlet hanging out of the bottom of my bra! I was mortified! I did a little wiggly to try to unobtrusively get it back in my bra discreetly to no avail. Sweat covered silicone is VERY sticky. It wouldn't budge. So I delicately draped my veil over my body and made a grande entrance to the back room (thankfully my show was almos tover and the restaurant wasn't busy).
Upon inspection later, I discovered that I must have lost quite a bit of weight, because I ended up taking in my bra band about 3-4"!!
I was dancing in a restaurant in one of my most favourite costumes. As a smaller busted gal, I like to add padding to my bras. I recently purchased some clear silicone inserts (which I affectionately call chicken cutlets) to boost my bossom.
I was gleefully dancing away. I came to one table where a man and woman sat. The male customer was politely watching me perform. The female customer kept trying to talk to him. He looked at her and said "Shut up, I am watching the dancer." She was suitably embarassed.
I kept dancing around the restaurant and later came back to the table. The woman motioned me towards her. I was a bit worried about what she was going to say to me considering the fact that her "date" had told her to shut up only moments previously. She said "There's something coming out from under your bra." I gasped and replied "Underboob?" and she said "No, it's something else. I'm not sure what."
So I reached a hand up, not sure what to expect, to find my lovely little chicken cutlet hanging out of the bottom of my bra! I was mortified! I did a little wiggly to try to unobtrusively get it back in my bra discreetly to no avail. Sweat covered silicone is VERY sticky. It wouldn't budge. So I delicately draped my veil over my body and made a grande entrance to the back room (thankfully my show was almos tover and the restaurant wasn't busy).
Upon inspection later, I discovered that I must have lost quite a bit of weight, because I ended up taking in my bra band about 3-4"!!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Costume Malfunction Chronicles Episode 4 - The Thong Song
I never suspected that this would ever be a problem for me. I have been graced with an ample booty and never suspected I would have to worry about a costume sliding down my delicious rebel hips. But heavily beaded stretch fabric defies the laws of physics and good sense.
It was May of 2010. I was hosting the grand opening of my studio. I was very excited. I purchased this gorgeous Barbie pink costume from a dear friend of mine, Denise, from her studio, Bedouin Beats. To this day this costume is still one of my favourites.
However, with getting ready for the studio, organizing the grand opening, etc, I didn't bother to test the costume out while dancing. What I didn't notice until later was that the eleastic the manufacturer had put in had popped. In my haste, I packed up my costume bag and headed to the studio for the grand opening.
I had decided to dance to a very fast Issam drum solo. I was tired from standing, but was up for the challenge. I was so proud of my accomplishment with the studio I entered the performance area "guns blazing" (no they really were, those jewels made my boobs sparkle like never before!).
As I began to dance, I quickly noticed a problem. A big problem. My skirt was very quickly sliding down my body. I thought I was being so suave (NOT) when I tried to hike it up mid shimmy. Well, what did I grab instead of the skirt? My bright blue thong and YANKED it up. So my skirt was down low and my thong was up high. Mortifying! I think everyone had a good laugh about it and I kept on dancing, keeping my wayward skirt and booty in check. Thankfully the audience was full of friends and family. I can't imagine the first impression that would have made.
When I got home that night I looked at the skirt and realized my booty really had saved the day as the leastic on the one side had popped. Thankfully this experience taught me to always check my skirts. The next costumes I ordered from overseas didn't even have elastic sewn in at all!
Costume tip: When sewing elastic into a skirt, ue a minimum width of 1", preferrable 2" for extra strength.
It was May of 2010. I was hosting the grand opening of my studio. I was very excited. I purchased this gorgeous Barbie pink costume from a dear friend of mine, Denise, from her studio, Bedouin Beats. To this day this costume is still one of my favourites.
However, with getting ready for the studio, organizing the grand opening, etc, I didn't bother to test the costume out while dancing. What I didn't notice until later was that the eleastic the manufacturer had put in had popped. In my haste, I packed up my costume bag and headed to the studio for the grand opening.
I had decided to dance to a very fast Issam drum solo. I was tired from standing, but was up for the challenge. I was so proud of my accomplishment with the studio I entered the performance area "guns blazing" (no they really were, those jewels made my boobs sparkle like never before!).
As I began to dance, I quickly noticed a problem. A big problem. My skirt was very quickly sliding down my body. I thought I was being so suave (NOT) when I tried to hike it up mid shimmy. Well, what did I grab instead of the skirt? My bright blue thong and YANKED it up. So my skirt was down low and my thong was up high. Mortifying! I think everyone had a good laugh about it and I kept on dancing, keeping my wayward skirt and booty in check. Thankfully the audience was full of friends and family. I can't imagine the first impression that would have made.
When I got home that night I looked at the skirt and realized my booty really had saved the day as the leastic on the one side had popped. Thankfully this experience taught me to always check my skirts. The next costumes I ordered from overseas didn't even have elastic sewn in at all!
Costume tip: When sewing elastic into a skirt, ue a minimum width of 1", preferrable 2" for extra strength.
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